Manifesting Without Fixing Yourself | Kristen MF Clark EP 208 Artwork

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Create the Courage to be Fearless

Manifesting Without Fixing Yourself | Kristen MF Clark EP 208

February 17, 2026 • Anita Mattu • Episode 208

0:00 | 44:47

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What if you didn’t have to fix yourself to create the life you want? Kristen MF Clark flips the script on manifesting, self-improvement, and the pressure to be “high vibe” before anything good can happen.

In this conversation, the speaker, performer, and metaphysical provocateur makes a case for trusting your lived data instead of another makeover plan. From mountain summits to near-death experiences, she challenges the idea that transformation requires perfection—and offers something simpler: choose who you want to be with right now.

We explore why manifestation often works when you’re not feeling inspired, how chasing big fantasy wins can blind you to the quiet ones already here, and why presence beats performance every time. Kristen shares how she approaches corporate stages by reading the room instead of the script, and why people remember who they became while listening more than the exact words you said.

You’ll also hear her practical “3-2-1 No More Pain” method—inhale 3-2-1, exhale attention to where sensation actually lives, and notice how pain changes when the story drops away. Plus, her idea of “Living From The Gush,” the inner surge of pride and momentum you can return to for thirty seconds or thirty minutes when courage feels thin.

If you’re tired of inside-out makeovers and want a grounded way to feel more alive without fixing yourself first, this episode is your permission slip.

In this episode:

Manifesting without high-vibe pressure
The 3-2-1 approach to easing pain and tension
Trusting real experience over self-improvement scripts
Creative honesty: keeping the barking dog and the awkward pause
Becoming your own loudest fan—even with fear in the room

Connect with Kristen MF Clark:
Email - Kristen@clark-kristen.com
Website - https://www.clark-kristen.com/
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/kristen.mf.clark66?
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/kristen_mf_clark/
YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@kristenmfclark1966
Linkdin - https://www.linkedin.com/in/kristen-clark-bskin-906b0b154utm_source=share&utm
Medium - https://medium.com/@Kristenmfclark
Books - https://www.clark-kristen.com/books

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I look forward to connecting with you Anita Mattu https://linktr.ee/AnitaMattu

Meet Kirsten MF Clark

Kristen MF Clark 1:06

You've got to be your biggest fan. You've got to be head over heels in love with the person you are. And at first it can feel like climbing Mount Everest.

Anita Mattu 1:17

Today's guest is Kirsten F. M. Clark. A speaker, performer, author, and metaphysical thought leader who helps people to see their life differently. Today's guest is Kirsten M. F. Clark, is a speaker, performer, author, and metaphysical thought leader who helps people see their life differently. Welcome, Kirsten.

Kristen MF Clark 1:46

Thank you, Anita.

Stepping Into Yourself

Anita Mattu 1:48

So, Kirsten, I'm excited for this conversation to learn a thing or two because there's quite a few big unfiltered statements you make. So let's just let's just leave it there for now. What's one of the most courageous things you've done?

Kristen MF Clark 2:02

You know, stepping into me. Um, stepping into I have a saying about be where your heart feels at home. And it's, you know, we can do a hundred things for other people, but to step up unapologetically and honor ourselves first and foremost, that can be radical, especially in a world that really encourages you and raises you to do everything but that. So that and it's it's yielded the best outcomes and the happiest life.

Anita Mattu 2:39

Absolutely. You know, it's quite interesting you say that because yeah, we are the best as we are, without having to do things and add on and take away. Because you challenge everything we think we know about manifesting death, which is the the natural the natural existence itself. It's not as a theory, but as a lived experience. Tell me more.

Life Without End Credits

Dismantling Manifestation Myths

Kristen MF Clark 3:06

Yeah. You know, I'm 60 years old, and after sixty years, you've really lived how many lifetimes in one life, and it's life is about this is you know, I get so many people are like, oh, you gotta be mindful, you gotta be mindful. But there is so much juice within your past that can help you navigate where you are right now. And I love my past. I love, I can't say I love the things that always happened in my past, but I love the lessons I learned, whether it's death, whether it's you know, manifestation and what this guru over here says, or what my even my own thoughts, my own beliefs. I love being able to stop and go, okay, stop. What worked, you know, for for me, not for them, what worked for me to help me to be just that much happier, a 1% better today than I was yesterday. And to really, and what I found is that, and I love this, I'm like going, ooh, how do I get into here? The word alive, you know, we we take it for granted. Oh, yeah, of course we're alive. Of course we're alive. But see, this is it. You read a book and you know, there's this great story, and you get all sucked into it, but then it ends, and you close the book and it's done. And you watch a movie and you're all sucked into the movie, and it's all great, but then roll credits and it's done. And so we kind of enter life that way. Like at some point, we're gonna roll the credits and close the book, but it doesn't do that. And a great example of this is I'm a mountain climber. I love to climb mountains. And you know, it's all about get up there, I gotta get up there. And you get up there, you did it. It's like, oh, take a picture. I'm up here, I did it. Okay, now I gotta get down. And and you go down. And then once you, oh I made it down without killing myself. Now I gotta get in my car and drive. And then once you get in your car and drive, you gotta go home and you gotta make dinner, and the next day you gotta go to work and you gotta take a shower. And life doesn't stop. It doesn't stop. There is never this beautiful little bow package that you know, wrap up and ta-da, the end. It doesn't do that, and so we tend to approach life that way. Like, where's my ending? Where's my happy ending? And it's like, oh, you've had a billion of them, but you're so busy going, I didn't get it that you missed it. Okay, cool. There'll be another one in the blink of an eye, there'll be another one, and so making peace, you we always hear, we always hear people say life's not a destination, it's a journey. We hear that all the time. Right over the head. But it it's so, so true. We can get so caught up in I need to be this to be happy, I need to be in love, I need to be rich, I need to be whatever, young, I need to be this, I need to be this, I need to be this, that we miss out on so much magic, so much magic that is swirling around us constantly. If you were to stop for a moment and take a look at something near you, anything, whatever it is, a pen, this sparkly cup, whatever, remember a time when you wanted that. Like you wanted that, like what you're watching us on right now. You wanted that, and now you have it. And do you remember? Did you did you meditate? Did you go bullet point steps to manifest this? No. You wanted it, yeah, got it, and moving on, moving on to the next thing you want. So that's where that's why death, that's why all these things that invite you to stop, focus, you know, put all your uh fear, worries, attention into I've gotten to the point to where I'm just like, no, I know I'm not stopping. I know I've never stopped. And I've had three near-death experiences, and it didn't stop. And it it it so that was to me why there's no subject out there that is stop. I'm a speaker. People want to know what's my niche? What do I speak on? What do you want me to speak on? I can speak on it all. I'm a speaker, it's like an actor, but I only act this one part. Yeah, no. I speak because I love to bring out the energy, I love to bring out the invitation to feel yourself alive. There you go.

Anita Mattu 8:25

Yeah, I love that. I love what you're saying. Because here's the thing: you don't teach manifesting, you dismantle it. Tell me more about that.

Kristen MF Clark 8:36

Well, you know, the the the belief that to manifest you must first change yourself completely and start thinking a completely different way than you do, is it's just impossible. It doesn't work. And as somebody who played in manifestation for over 30 years and got some amazing results, I'm not gonna say I didn't have some amazing results. I mean, my God, I'm standing in the middle of the house. That was an amazing result of a manifestation. But a lot of these amazing results came when I was in the worst mood. When I was in down in the deepest, darkest depression living in my car. I could be living in a mansion, I could be living in a car. I've done them both. And it didn't make or break my manifestations. They still came. They still came, no matter what. So manifestation is all about I want these things. But see, that's not you. You're not just these things, you're everything. You know, you you you your your moods, your feelings, your yes, objects, but you're also so many different people. We'll call them states. States are your I am. I am this, I am that, I am grandma, I am whatever. Your state, you're you're you just can't jump into one state and stay there. I I give you the challenge, give it a shot, see how that works out for you. You know, something happens, you have an earthquake or whatever, now you're into another state. Um, your enemy, what you're in the best mood ever. You're you know, you've been, you'd have the great meditation this morning, and you're like the angels are singing, oh, and your enemy walks on by. And you're like, oh, boom. Then you go, I don't care if you're a Buddhist monk, you're not perfect 24-7. And the teachings about manifestation, they kind of it's like a dangling carrot, you never quite get to, right? When you're like, Well, I I I want to win the lottery, I want to win the lottery, you get so focused on winning the lottery that you're missing all these other amazing things you're manifesting without even trying. You are a natural master manifester. Once again, take a look at some of the objects around you and remember a time when you wanted them, you didn't do anything, and now you have them. I mean, you could walk around your whole house and do that. It's actually in one of my books, I I suggest people do that. Is go for a walk around your house and look at how many things you can go, oh, I wanted that, and I love it, and I didn't even realize it. And so, manifestation is just it does us a huge disservice when we believe if you want a good result, you must be a good person. Well, how's that working out for you? You know, how's it working out? It it it's it's you are you, not me, not Tony Robbins, not Oprah, not Gandhi, you are you, and the and the and the the the the deliciousness that makes up you. And the minute you can just really look at yourself and go, okay, once again, here we come back to that question. What worked? What worked for me? What made me feel alive? What made me feel excited? What made me feel bored? What made me feel disappointed? To look at all these things and weed out the ones that don't work for you and just enjoy saturated, you know like jacuzzi on in to the ones that do light you up, the things that do make you feel like a god, and play there to the best of your ability.

Anita Mattu 12:41

Now that's really interesting, I must say. Because like you know I wouldn't say you're going against the grain, you've just got your own viewpoint here. Because most people would say the opposite to that, wouldn't they? And that's why you know, you are unscripted, unfiltered. I love that about you.

Kristen MF Clark 13:04

Me too. Me too. It really takes the pressure off.

Anita Mattu 13:09

Absolutely. So tell me, a lot of people are exhausted from always trying to improve themselves from what they've seen, what actually helps people feel stable and move forward.

Trust Yourself Over Blueprints

Performing Without The Script

Kristen MF Clark 13:22

You know, I I think I've really already answered all that. It it it's once again, is it's finding what works for you. But it really is about trusting yourself, and that's gotta be the biggest one. That's gotta be the biggest, hugest movement out there is because you know, from the minute we're a small child, we're told, go ask that person, because that person knows better than you do, you know, mom, teacher, doctor, whatever. And so we're constantly putting our own best interests in somebody else's hands. Tell me what to do. And, you know, like I said, how's that working out for you? Or, you know, it's it, and nobody knows you like you. Nobody, not your doctor, nobody knows you like you. Nobody knows what works for you. And so here, you know, we can go big into diet here. You know, it's like, my God, 60 years, you know how many diets I've been on and seen and done. And once again, here's the the great benefit of asking yourself, well, what worked? What worked for me? What made me feel great? What made me basically be the person I was hoping to be? It's not just about losing weight, but there's flexibility, there's there's the mind fog, there's all this stuff, and you find very quickly what worked. And if you fell off and gain the weight back, why can't you go back to the one that worked? Why do you need to take on something completely new? And so it really, again and again, it's about trust. This is why, again, why I'm like, why not look in the past, right? Why not? Because that's where what worked is. That's where a lot of my tools, a lot of my aha's, a lot of my things I enjoyed are. It helps guide you. So whether you're trying to do something with work, or you're trying to, you know, find a new love, or whatever it is, the stuff from your past you can ask yourself, what worked? What worked? What didn't work? What was meh? You know, and you get to write it down. You get to start going, okay, well, wait a minute. This worked, and this didn't just work, it was mind-blowing. Why would I not, you know, go back to that? Why wouldn't I give it another try? And so, really, it's about looking in the one place we keep being told don't look, which is right in here. It's right in here. Again, when you're when you're trying to follow someone else's blueprint on how to be successful, how to be uh spiritually happy, how to be whatever, you're going to find it's a bumpy road. It's not as smooth a road. This I'm just not saying you can't learn. I mean, that's life all the time. You get out of school, you thought you were done. Yeah, right. Come back in 20 years and let me know how that worked out for you. Every day you're learning, but you're learning what works for me. What works, what doesn't work, and trusting that there is this part of you that's gonna bring to you a lot more, a lot more lessons, a lot more. So here's a good example. I was um getting ready to do a speaking event at a big corporation, and they wanted me to speak on these bullet points. No problem, no problem. This is what I do. But see, the other thing I know is that when I go into the event, the person I was preparing is not the person I am when I'm in that event. I can't possibly know who my audience is going to be, what their preferences are, what experiences they've had. And so when I can let go of the perfection and step more into let's engage, let's talk about what you're struggling with, let's get it out there and remind you that you are not Chat GPT, you are not some one-dimensional book that says you gotta be like this, you are not the one-dimensional TV screen or YouTube or whatever. You're not that, you are alive with moods and ideas and just so infinitely multidimensional that you can't possibly squish yourself into a box that says you've got to be like this. It doesn't work. It doesn't work. So when I go into an event where they're trying to squish me into a box, I'm perfectly okay saying, okay, but I know that's not what's gonna happen. I know it's not. And so it's cool, it's perfectly fine. And I I come away from so many events going, what did we talk about? I hope somebody was recording that. It it it knowing that it was great because people are reaching out to me or they come up to me after the talk and go, Oh my god, I can't believe what you said. And I'm like, I said that awesome. Because I had no intention to say that. But see, this is this is just the way it is. You know, we go into these talks with fears. Oh God, what if this happens? What if that happens? What if this person says this? What if that person says that? And number one, it never happens. None of my fears ever happen. Number two, what happens instead is so much better than what I could have planned. So that was a long answer.

Anita Mattu 19:34

No, no, but that's good because it's absolutely true, isn't it? You can go somewhere and they expect you to be a certain way, and it's not gonna happen. You've got to embody who you naturally are as well. Yep. Yep.

Keep The Mess: Don’t Edit Life

Kristen MF Clark 19:47

And that's a you know, that's a big thing I tell um a lot of podcasters and stuff is don't edit. Because the stuff that goes viral, the stuff that okay, so I was doing a talk, and the lady's dog opened the her door. Her dog's good at opening the doors, apparently. Okay, dog opened the door, came in barking in the middle of our podcast, and she's just like, oh my god, I'm gonna have to pause it and stuff. And I'm like, don't you dare pause this. This is the best part of our talk. It's it's the humanness that we want to see. We don't need more perfection, we don't need more people telling us everything is wonderful and perfect, and look at my makeup, and all is well, and we never get wrinkles, and you know, crap never happens, and my poop smells like roses. It we we don't need more of that. We need alone. We need the things that remind us that we are not perfect, we stumble over names, we, you know, we we can't get it right all the time. Microphones get wonky, um, you know, we get power outages or whatever, you know, and and she was so cute because she was just like, I'm gonna leave that in there. And I'm like, I'm so glad you do, because it's true. That is the stuff that goes viral. That is the stuff that reminds people, because see, the thing is this people rarely remember what was talked about. Very and I'm a speaker, so I'm you know, they very rarely remember that, but what they do remember is who they become while listening. If you've ever gone to a concert, or you you know, think of somebody's like, listen, let's go to this this seminar where they're gonna talk about growing corn, or let's go to a concert. You know, which one are you gonna choose, right? You're you wanna go to the one that lights you up, that makes you feel hopeful, that makes you feel powerful, that makes you feel strong. And it doesn't matter what I say, I can't elicit that out of you. You've got to do it. You've gotta be, there's gonna be something I said that you manifested. Okay, here we go with manifestation. You manifested me. You manifested what you're hearing out of me. Something I said is is an answer to a prayer. It's something you needed to hear so that you can take the next step today. And you keep doing this, you do this all the time for yourself. And you don't need to do or be or bend over backwards or jump through hoops. You don't need to do any of that. You just need to be you. Who is you? Yeah.

Anita Mattu 22:45

Because you talk a lot about being the author of your own life instead of trying to control everything. I don't know, they've actually stepped into that.

Be The Author In Every Moment

Kristen MF Clark 22:57

I don't think it's possible to step out of it. That's yeah. Again, let's take the pressure off. I don't I don't think we can. I really, the more I live this life, the more I realize I don't think that. So let's say once again, let's go back to your enemy walking by, you know, and you have to, you're going, I do, I do, I've lived it. You know, and and just going, okay, in this moment, who do I want to be? So I uh was meeting my son for breakfast, and I have a thing about being late. I do not like lateness. I was raised very a certain way. And you know, 20 minutes later, 25 minutes later, I'm still sitting there. Haven't heard anything, and I'm getting pissed. I'm getting mad. And now I'm not even enjoying being there. I I'm just angry, I'm mad, I'm how disrespectful is this? Blah, blah, blah. And so I think it was like 40 minutes, and I I texted him saying, Where are you? And he goes, Oh, I'm sorry. Um, you know, my alarm didn't. He's giving some excuses. And I'm just like, Okay, well, this is really screwing up my day. You know, and and he's like, I'm sorry, it'll probably be another 15 minutes. We're on our way. As him and my grandson. So I, you know, there's this, there's so much inner push and pull going on, you know. Dang it, you know, I need to teach him a lesson. You can't treat me like this. You know who I am, blah, blah, blah. You know, there's all of that. And I was just, at one moment, I finally just went, stop. Who do I want to be sitting here with? You know, who do I want to be sitting here with? If me was on the across from me, here in this booth, do I want to sit with somebody who's angry, mad, and pointing out the time and or do I want to sit with somebody who's, you know, noticing this amazing rainbow reflection from a crystal over there on the wall? You know, do I want to be having a good time? And so it's constantly reminding myself this. Who do I want to be going for a walk with? Who do I want to be brushing my teeth with? Who do I want to be drinking my coffee with? Who do I want to be with? No matter what's going on on the outside, who do I, not what is this guru over here say I should be, not what this Santa Claus person over here said I should be. Who do I want to be hanging out with? Who do I want to be with? Do I want to be with a version of me that is outrageously rich and successful? Okay, be her or him. Be that person. What are the inner conversations going on with you in that restaurant? They weren't great. And the minute I switched them, the minute I switched the inner conversation to just okay, I'm a billionaire. And if I was a billionaire, how would I be doing this? And how and I just started entertaining myself. And my son and grandson walked in and I gave my son a big hug because I was so happy to see my baby, my enormous humongous baby, and and then my little, little baby, and I was just so happy to see him. And he goes, you know what? I'm so sorry. He goes, I slept in. And I'm like, there's the honesty. There was everything, and all I had to do was switch what was going on inside me to being, who do I want to sit here? You know, is it my future self I'm sitting with? Is it my past self? What would I be saying to my past self? What would I be saying to my future self? What would my future self be saying to me? You know, and it's it's I've had so many unbelievable stories and experiences by just doing this. And I'm not saying that they caused it or that shift in mindset caused anything.

Anita Mattu 27:03

I think we really need to let go of that and just step into who do I want to be hanging out with? And it's always about who who we've been. No matter what. Always about who we've been. Absolutely. Yes, absolutely. Yeah, you say, you know, you don't hype up people. You know, so tell me a bit about that.

No Hype: Read The Room

Kristen MF Clark 27:31

Again, it's like if I'm if I'm bending over backwards to hype you up, I'm not paying attention. I'm not paying attention, I'm not reading the room well, but more than anything, I'm not paying attention to what's going on here. I'm I'm jumping ahead saying it has to be this way, and and so you're you're you're not paying attention to the people, you're not reading them. You're you're okay, I I I have an agenda. And I mean, how's that ever worked out for us, right? You know, when you go, so let's say you're going into an interview, and this is your dream job, and you're like, oh my god, if you go into that interview being anybody but you, I guarantee you, you will not get the job. I guarantee it. And if you do get the job, it's gonna suck. It is not, you need to go in, and now I'm not saying don't get dressed up, don't be on time. The things that are obvious, okay, respectful. How do you want people to treat you and then you go in there treating them the same way? If you were, so a friend of mine is a um producer for movies, and she was saying one of the she hates the casting calls, she hates them, hates them, and I said, Yeah, so do the actors, and she goes, Exactly, all of us hate this whole process. And she goes, and all I'm looking for is somebody to come in and blow me away. To just to come, and she goes, but they come in, they've got the script, so they think they have to be this person, sometimes they're dressed as this person, and they they're trying to give us what they think we want. She goes, and and it it just she goes, but then you get the one that walks in and just is just so excited to be there, is so happy to have this opportunity, and they bring their best selves forward. And she goes, I've had people who who will present a character that's not even what we're casting call for. And she goes, and those are the ones we choose. She goes, because they're not trying to impress us, they're just closing their eyes and doing what they do best. Again, coming back to what I said in the beginning about be where your heart feels at home. You know, it's like you may be the best actor in the world, but if you're try if you're going into it with an agenda, you're forgetting who you are, you're forgetting your heart, you're not bringing your heart with you, you're not bringing your soul with you, you're not letting your soul come alive. You're you're scared about all these people and what these people want me to be, and now I've got to impress them, but I don't know how to impress them because I don't even know them, and I don't know what they like, and I don't know what they're expecting of me. And you know, we're over with before we started. And so it takes going in there again. Here's trust, trusting yourself, trusting yourself that you're you brought you here. The same you that manifested this or that when you weren't looking is the same one that brought you here. And just who do you want to be watching? If you're sitting at that table watching this person come in for a casting call, you know, who do you want to have there? Who do you want to be watching? Ugh, you just you you perform your best, and again, these are the performances where you come out going, What did I say? What did I do? I don't know. And but they're the best ones, they're the ones you get the best results from.

Anita Mattu 31:21

Absolutely, because you just come in from you.

Kristen MF Clark 31:24

Yeah. Takes all the pressure off. It's all about removing the pressure. Keep it simple. Keep it simple.

Anita Mattu 31:33

You are the author of 321 no pain, as well as living from gush. Tell me more about your book.

Casting Calls And Showing Up As You

Kristen MF Clark 31:41

Yeah. Uh 321, no more pain. That came about during a very painful time, and realizing that pain comes in a variety of flavors. It can be an addiction, it can be physical, you had a limb removed or whatever. It can be emotional, you know, you uh anxiety attack, panic attacks, things like that. It can just be a past memory. It pain comes in all shapes and sizes. And because it came in all shapes and sizes, it got me thinking, you know, what we're calling it all pain. Is it does it it doesn't really exist? Does it really exist? And so I did a year-long case study with many different people. I had one girl she had a phobia of snakes. I had another one that was addicted to cigarettes, couldn't quit her cigarettes. I had a guy who'd been in the war, lost one limb, had a huge addiction to um painkillers, couldn't sleep, couldn't work, uh, his back was jacked to all hell. I mean, I had all different people, and they're in the book. And so what I did is I did a process with them where um you're basically taking an inhale and saying three, two, one, and then you just exhale, and on the exhale, you're going to that part of you that hurts and feeling around. So basically, what's this is you may have, let's say you you jacked your neck up years ago, and you're like, okay, well, that's the place I want to focus on. But when I ask you to find the place that hurts, you'd be amazed that it could be a hundred other places. It's like, oh my neck's my problem, but I feel it in my stomach. It's like, okay, that's where you're gonna exhale, that's where you're gonna focus in on. But the main, I mean, it really is a process, and I hate processes. The main thing is this. You have the one thing I always had them do is they had to let go of the backstory of their pain. They had to let go of the backstory. And when they exhaled and felt into this area without a backstory, there was nothing there. There was nothing there. Without a backstory, it's got no legs to stand on. And we were, oh my god, the girl with the uh the snake phobia, gone. Just gone. She had no problem. She purposely went out looking for snakes. Um her phobia was so bad she couldn't even see them on TV. It was so bad. Um the the the cigarette addiction, gone. The guy, the the French guy with the lost limb and and everything, holy cow. I mean, that took us about an hour and a half of doing it over and over and over and over until he finally let go of the story. He was so attached to the story. He had more yabuts than I ever heard. And yet the minute he let go of the story, and it was so simple, and that was one of the things he said. He goes, I it was so simple. Um, so that's what's in that book. That book's all those case studies and the amazing outcomes, and it tells you how to do it. And it it really encourages people to move beyond the process. You don't have to do the breathing, you know, you just immediately ask yourself, well, where am I feeling this pain? Whatever pain it is. And you it you will find it immediately. And then it's like, okay, remove the backstory, get rid of it, the whole backstory, get rid of it, and now feel that space again. And you'll find there's nothing there. So that's 321, no more pain. It's a short, little fun book. Um, it's powerful, I love it. And then living from the gush, the gush is anytime you're gushing, me, I've been gushing this whole time. You know, you know, like if you're oh, I got my first A on my test, or yeah, or I won the lottery, you know, that gush, that excitement. Um, it has so many powerful emotions in it. It's not just joy. There's pride in it, there's there's elation, there's ecstasy, there's so much powerfulness in the gush. And to take a moment and be with that part of you, um, even if you're just making it up, like you're saying, I got the job I wanted, you know, just living in that. Just just just taking 30 seconds or 30 minutes, whatever you can do, and living in that, that, that, just letting that again, here it is, that person you're sitting with. Who do you want to be sitting with? You know, it's like if you're sitting there just focusing and focusing on this person's late and this person has no respect for me, and I'm angry, and what's it gonna be like when that person shows up? But also, that is you gotta sit with that person, you gotta live with that person. So when you're living from the gush, it's it's not about being perfect. Nobody's perfect, you're gonna have the bad thoughts come in, but you have the capability of shifting it at any time without there being some again, jumping through hoops or hacks or or beating yourself up because oh my god, I'm I'm in a bad mood. That must mean I'm screwing everything up. No, babe, you're alive. Welcome to being alive. And so it's it's really and and again, you know, through giving yourself the gift of just being that person, that person that lights you up, just giving yourself that gift, you'd be amazed at how your life shifts, the things that happen. And it's easy to latch on and go, oh, here's here's the answer to the universe. You know, it doesn't work that way. You just again you come back to who do I want to be? Do I want to be the person that has to grab onto this this methodology and this is it, and I should write a book on this? Or do you just, oh, I just love feeling confident. I love feeling sure, even if it's this big instead of being this big. I just love that. Yeah, yeah. Well, you might be able to, you might not. You might not, you know, again, so many people are like, oh, let it go. And I'm like, screw you. I can try and let it go, and my mind's doing something completely different. And so you make peace with that. You if you can. And if you can't, you can't. You're still alive. Nothing stops you, nothing halts you from existence. Nothing, nothing. But again, it's like, okay, who do I want to be hanging out here with? Who do I want to be drinking my water with, my coffee with? Who do I want to be? And this isn't about those uh brief uh craving, giving in to those things that make you get angry at yourself afterward. This isn't about that. If you do do that, you do. But you you can then sit with the person who succeeded, who didn't give in to that craving or that addiction or whatever, and hang with that person. Don't hang with the person that is like, oh, I just I suck. I have no control, I have no willpower. Don't you can do it if you want. Again, you don't stop existing. But do you like that? Do you like hanging out with her? Yeah, I wouldn't want to hang out with her either.

Anita Mattu 39:33

So if there was one key takeaway you want every listener to walk away with, what would that be?

3-2-1 No More Pain Method

Kristen MF Clark 39:39

Be you. God honor you. Who else is going to if you don't? You've got to be your biggest fan. You've got to be head over heels in love with the person you are. And at first it can feel like climbing Mount Everest. Okay. You do it again and you do it again and you do it again. And you start seeing just how uniquely amazing you are. And don't let other people don't require them to do the same for you because they're never going to. They're busy with themselves. You've got to be. You've got to be your number one fan. And it might be the only fan, and that's cool.

Anita Mattu 40:23

Yeah. You're in cheer.

Kristen MF Clark 40:25

Yeah. Yeah. You're gonna be the biggest and loudest one anyway, because you live in here. Yeah.

Anita Mattu 40:31

So wait, can the listeners find you online? What's your website, Kirsten?

Kristen MF Clark 40:35

My website is Clark.com. But if you Google Kristen and you gotta put in the MF, the MF Clark, Kristen MF Clark. If you Google that, you'll find me anywhere. Everything links back to me. You'll find me. And I'd love, you know, if you if you have an event you need like huge energy for for a speaker, this is what I do.

Anita Mattu 41:04

That's absolutely fantastic. And thank you for sharing your insightful wisdom and knowledge with us today today. And by doing so I know you've made a big difference to a lot of people out there.

Kristen MF Clark 41:15

Thank you, Anita. And thank you to anybody. If you want to reach out to me and just say hi, I'm I I love people. I love interacting with people.

Anita Mattu 41:23

Yeah. Thank you, Kirsten. What is your definition of courage?

Kristen MF Clark 41:29

Look in the mirror. Look in the mirror. That alone is such a courageous thing to do. To look in a mirror and s and look, not not go, you know, to look and really look, and then sitting there and and you're like, okay, well, so what's supposed to happen? Don't need anything to happen. Just look. Look at you. You are the only one who's with you 24-7. Everything else comes and goes. You are the only constant in your life. Only. And I mean feel it, taste it, touch it, smell it, that kind of a constant. Real. Alive. Everything else comes and goes. Everything else is true. But you don't. And to take a moment with that version of you, just look in the mirror. That's a pretty dang courageous act.

Anita Mattu 42:27

Okay. Is there anything else you wanted to add?

Kristen MF Clark 42:30

Not at all. I thought this was a great talk.

Anita Mattu 42:33

Yeah, it was.

Kristen MF Clark 42:34

We had fun.

Anita Mattu 42:35

Because we are all about create the courage to be fearless podcasts here.

Kristen MF Clark 42:39

Yes.

Anita Mattu 42:40

Yeah.

Kristen MF Clark 42:40

Yeah. Part of being fearless is allowing fear to exist. Because you're never gonna get rid of it. And if you're trying to get rid of it, you're you're focused on it. And you're not being the person you want to be. Just you know, you you've made it to where you are. You've made it this far. You've always got to the other side of all those big scary things. You always have. You've never stopped. And you made it. You got knocked down, you got back up. I guess many people are like, Well, how do you get back up? Well, you tell me, how did you get back up? You just do. You don't have a choice. It's not like you have a choice. You go forward. And I get you know, a lot of people are like, Oh, you always say, um, despite your fear, keep going forward. So how, how, how? And I'm like, Do you have an option? You don't have an option, you gotta go forward, even if trembling, you still go forward, it's just who you are.